WOW

One of those days.

Privileged information

I hate it when I find out something that I didn't want to know in the first place.
Somehow I always get these bombs of information dropped on me, and they always come with the condition that you cannot share them with anyone else.
You've got to be kidding me.
I mean just don't tell me.
I understand that information carries it own same kind of weird pressure, that sometimes keeping secrets can make you crazy that you have to let it out.
Maybe it's a testimony to my character that people feel that they can tell me things, that they trust me enough.
But there are times that I wish I didn't know what I knew, especially when the information would have a really big impact on a third party, on someone who is totally oblivious to what's going on. I think that's the worst.
If you want to let me in on something, I'll gladly listen, and I can say in all sincerity I'll keep it a secret till you say otherwise.
It's like getting rewarded for doing a job well by being given more work.
Could be worse I guess.
That's it.

I need to know ma.

Resolved

2009 is going to be a different year for the kid.
I guess I'm learning that you're the only one who can change your situation. I mean that's common sense right? I've spent too long just getting by, letting my complacency hold me back.
I'm not happy with that anymore.
I've gotta do what's going to make me happy, follow my dreams and knock down the barriers in my way instead of just letting them stop me.
You've gotta stay on your grind everyday if you want to get ahead.
At least that's how I feel.
That's it.

Just an idea

If you weren't sure what to get me for Christmas, I don't have one of these yet.

Role Models

I feel like Danny.
That's probably not so good.
What a dick he was.

Thanks given

Thanksgiving 2008.
I was going to do a top five of the things I'm thankful for but that felt so cliche. There are certain people, things and ideas that if they weren't around, my life would be completely different.
For all those I'm thankful.
I'm thankful for everything that's happened, good and bad.
Well maybe not all the bad but what's done is done.
Have a good Thanksgiving.

Look at that son of a bitch.

I've gotta learn how to do this.

Old faithful(s)

This is a picture of my backpack and wallet.
I can't tell you how many people, from my best friend, to my wife and my mother have told me to get rid of these things.
It's true, they are really worn out. The wallet is cracked and there are some pretty significant holes forming in the folds. There's a little Kerropi patch on it (yes it's a Hello Kitty wallet) that gets closer to falling off every day. It has loose strings all over it, and the Velcro no longer resembles Velcro, it looks more like some really worn out nasty carpeting. The backpack is no better. A pull for one of the zippers is broken off, and sometimes it's a real pain in the ass to open it. The right strap is just about to break off of the bag. Both straps are worn out, their original cushioning flattened by years of use.
But I can't get rid of them.
For one thing, there's no reason. True, that backpack strap does need to be fixed, and when it breaks, instead of throwing it away I will take it to an alteration shop and have it repaired. It's not like I couldn't buy another one, I mean I have 2 or 3 other bags that would work just as well.
Same goes for the wallet. I could just pitch it and get a new one, probably something made of leather. I could get one of those money clips that holds your money and also has a place for all your cards. But I just can't see a point to doing it. It still works. It serves it's purpose. True, by a design standard it's probably better suited to a little kid, but what do I care?
Sometimes it's more about what something has been through, it's history I guess than it's functionality. Both of these have been with me to the other side of the globe. When I'm on an out of town trip, I know exactly where to put each item in my backpack. My wallet has a certain feel in my pocket. It took years for me to be able to get that feel, and now I think if I changed it it would throw my whole world into chaos.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that shiny and new isn't always the best way. Sometimes we're better served by the things that have served us in the past, and we owe it to them to show some loyalty. No one or thing wants to or should be replaced just because they or it has lost that once new sheen.
Just something to think about.

Zombie Strippers

Look don't ask me why.
Jenna stick to sucking dick.
It's what you do best.

I miss Donahue

Take me away

I want to move.
I doubt I'll ever get the chance to, I have a feeling I'm Richmond for life.
A lot of my friends don't understand why I would want to leave our fair city. I say if you don't see what's out there, you'll never appreciate what you have. This world, this country is too big to just live in one place your entire life.
These are the 5 cities I would want to move to in the United States, listed in order of preference.
1-Philadelphia-Like Richmond, only larger, with better food, professional sports, and some of my favorite out of town friends. It's cold in the winter and close enough to New York that you could go there for the day. Doesn't get much better than that.
2-Austin-Austin is probably the most laid back city I've ever been to. More good food, the only drawback is I can't imagine how hot it gets there in the summer. I don't know if I could hang with that.
3-LA-Now I'd only move to LA if I was trying to start my life over. The metro area is home to almost 13 million people. That's the kind of place where you could totally reinvent yourself. They have the Dodgers, but it's also the home to the Lakers, so those kind of cancel each other out.
4-Atlanta-Atlanta is my city of choice if I'm ballin' out of control. You'd have to be rich to live there. Well that's the impression I get. I doubt if I'll ever be rolling hard enough to get there, but it's definitely an awesome city.
5-New York City-Sometimes I could see myself living there, sometimes I think I'd kill myself if I had to spend more than a few days there. It's such a crazy place, and there's so much to do, but I just don't know if I could hang with all the hustle and bustle.

Blah-ow!

Why do you hang around?

Gary Gunwald interview

If I had three words to sum up Gary Gunwald they would be solid, true, and hardcore. He has the most insane bulldog tattoo that he wants to get covered up. I think he's nuts for that. He's one of the better dudes I've met in a long time. His band rips. If you haven't heard them you need to get familiar. He was nice enough to answer a few quick questions for me a few weeks ago. Naysayer has a short East coast tour coming up in December so if they come through your town I suggest you check them out.



Tell the people who you are and what you do.
My name is Gary i sing for Naysayer and i work at a grocery store.

If you could book a five band show for Naysayer to be on who would you want to play with?
That's is a hard one, this answer would probably change every time you asked me. but for now i'll go with
madball, sick of it all, bad brains, warzone, and alone in a crowd.

What's your most prized possession?
My most prized possession was my 1st press warzone-open your eyes lp...but i sold that to go on tour.
so i guess it would be my judge new york crew 7 inch.

Five favorite hardcore records of all time.
fuck. another ever changing answer
1. madball -look my way/demonstrate my style
2. sick of it all - live in a world full of hate
3. bad brains - rock for light
4. judge - bringin' it down
5. warzone - dfts dfts

Close it out. Anything you want to say.
thanks for the interview. reaper comp coming out in december.
naysayer 7 inch coming out early 2009. richmond hardcore on the rise. shout out to world war...amd swamp thing.

http://www.myspace.com/naysayerichmond

And it feels so good...

We've all had falling outs with people who we considered to be our best friends. Usually it's over the dumbest, most unimportant thing in the world.
If you have someone who you really care about, that you've been through a lot with that you don't talk to anymore for whatever reason, you should really think long and hard about what happened, and if you can you should try to make amends.
It's hard to say you're sorry for doing something stupid, and I think it's even harder to accept an apology from someone who's hurt you.
But if you can do it and get past whatever caused the rift between you, I could guarantee with almost one hundred percent certainty that you'll be glad you did.
I have a friend who's friendship and trust I lost for a long time.
But through some small miracle we've been able to get past it, and I'm so thankful for that.
You know who you are.
We lost a lot of time, but you'll never know how much it means to me that we are finally past it.
That's it.

Our new pledge of allegiance.

One nation, under whoever, with hatred, blame, and spite for all.
Now I want you to read these next lines very carefully.
I am not an overly religious person. I have my own questions and issues with faith that I wrestle with on a daily basis. Sometimes I do think that there could be something out there, some guiding force that watches over everything we do and say. There are other times that I feel like there's no way in the world that any higher being would allow us to get to the point that we are at now.
I make no judgments on people as far as their faith goes. I have some friends who are in the same position as I am. Some are diehard atheists. Others, including many of my extended family members, have a very strong faith. I support all of them and do not pretend to know better than any of them on this matter.
What I can't stand however is ignorance. I hate it. I too have struggled with, and still struggle with at times making generalizations about a group of people. Or having a preconcieved notion that I am sure must be true. Or feeling the guilt when my belief in said notion is proved otherwise. I'm trying, really trying to be better about taking each person on their own merits.
I've been the subject of generalizations so many times I couldn't even tell you when they started.
"I can't believe you are an English major. You don't look like an English major."
"You want to work with children? Oh I just never would have thought."
"You're straight edge right? Do you beat people up when you see them smoking?"
"Judging from your accent I just thought you were some country hick."
These are only a few.
Anyway, where am I going with this? This week has truly been an interesting one, and unless you've been living in a cave or vacationing on Mars I shouldn't have to tell you why. America, and the world, is bracing for change, and depending on who you are that is a good or bad thing.
I've come to terms with the fact that the person I voted for isn't going to be president. I was at peace with it on Wednesday morning. I've moved on, and even opened myself up to the idea that possibly things could get better.
But today I found myself getting all riled up again.
This morning I was informed by a good friend that he had signed a petition to have the tax exempt status of the Mormon church revoked, due to the fact that they threw so much money into advertising against Proposition 8 in California. Proposition 8 dealt with the issue of gay marriage, which California had approved this summer.
I understand my friend's interest in this topic, being that he is a gay man. I myself could care less if gay people were able to get married, the whole "sanctity" of marriage thing is probably the biggest copout in the world to me.
But I also think it is a copout to blame the Mormon church for the defeat of this bill.
Now I'm not going to pretend that I've done days upon days of research for this posting. One of the places where I did get some facts from was the anti-Mormon website mormonsstoleourrights.com. But based upon the small amount of information I've gathered in an even shorter amount of time, I think the defeat of this bill basically adds up to laziness.
Is the gay community trying to suggest that with 25 million homosexuals in the United States, with all the celebrity power and backing that their community has that they could not raise enough funds to combat the "Mormon Machine?" Come on.
Supposedly the Mormon church raised seventy percent of the money which they threw towards the opposition of this proposition. But this money came from private donations of members of the church, not the church itself as one entity. So by that logic can political campaigns not except donations from a person of faith anymore? Can you even imagine what our political landscape would look like on both sides if that were to happen?
How come the Catholic church, the Jewish Orthodoxy, and evangelicals were in favor of the measure as well, but have not taken nearly as much flak at the Mormon church, who's members only make up TWO PERCENT of the population of California?
It's just hypocritical to me. If you're going to go after one, then you need to go after all of them, not just the smallest, most easily targeted religion.
I'm sorry, but if the right to marry was so important than the gay community should have been out in the street everyday, screaming at the tops of their lungs, calling in every favor and raising every dollar possible. But they didn't, and as a result they lost.
It's easy to say "shoulda, woulda, coulda," to sit back and say why you lost or point the finger of blame when you didn't do what you should have. Now the gay community of California waves it's collective finger at tiny percentage of the population and says "You are the ones to blame. You did this to us."
No, it doesn't work that way.
You lost.
Sorry. Better luck next time.
If anything the entire community should look at this last election as an inspiration. Four years ago John Kerry lost, due to what so many people felt was voter indifference. This year the Democrats won, after correcting so many of the mistakes they made four years ago.
If so many lies were being perpetuated by Mormon advertising where were the ads for other side? Do you seriously mean to tell me that Lance Bass, Portia De Rossi, Ellen DeGeneres, Elton John, and Cynthia Nixon couldn't get all of their friends, gay and straight, in the industry together to film a commercial? I mean Melissa Etheridge and K.D. Lang couldn't get together and do a song to be played on the radio in support? I mean really, you expect me to believe that?
It's just ludicrous to me, this whole situation. It's like someone crying because they got an F on their test, when instead of studying they were out partying the entire week before.
Looks like party time's over.

Oh what a night.

So as of now Barack Obama is our president-elect. Anyone who knows me knows this isn't something I'm happy about.
I'm not going to make this about how much I dislike Obama, or what I think will or won't happen over the next four years, but I have learned a lot during the course of the election.
I've learned that for all the big talk about change and new ideas, people have never been more like themselves. This was an election about race. I can't count the number of people who I have heard say that they are voting for Obama because the idea of having a black president is cool to them. Not because of his stance on any one issue, but purely because he seems like a cool person. It scares me to think that all someone has to do is be likable or a minority and they have a good chance at becoming president.
This was also an election about blame. So many people across the board blame the current administration for the problems that we are having now. No one seems to think that it's conceivable that these problems started so many years ago, in my opinion during the presidency of Jimmy Carter. To suggest that however goes against what must be the truth though right? I mean Democrats are good and Republicans are evil. That's what it's boiled down to in this country.
We are a nation of spoiled, self-centered, uncaring brats. We want it our way or not at all. And if we don't get our way, we cry and fall on the ground, so much like the selfish children we are. I'm not saying I'm any better. For quite a while tonight I felt like so many of my friends were just the most ignorant people I've ever met.
I'm over it now. The election is done. It's time to move on and face the future.
The worst thing about losing is that someone has to do it. There's no choice. In any competition someone is going to come in second.
I think I